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In between extremes...

... feeling like a drop of oil in a bucket of water.

Between losing everything you've got,
and finding everything you are.

I've been in that situation a couple of times and it was horrible
but I wouldn't change it for the world.

On the surface others saw a perfectly functioning body,
performing its duties with relentless diligence
but deep inside there was
no peace.

-- Sense of isolation despite leading people.
-- Low morale despite being the one that others looked up to.
-- Sense of disconnection despite being in a stable relationship.

Keeping on for the sake of keeping on, as taking a pause felt like losing myself.

Until I found out that

-- extremes don't need balance but full exploration so that they can end.
-- "myself" was the source of suffering I was never truly aware of.

Balance, is a mind-made idea that wants to negotiate between fear and freedom.

Freedom does not necessarily mean doing whatever you like,
much less means expressing it with violence against people
but that you are free from the mind made negotiations
to live your extreme moments
as you are, so that conflict
between what you feel
and how you should
or shouldn't
can end.

There is no reassurance in freedom
because no beliefs can change what is.

Experience all experiences.

Never pushed or pulled by people or circumstances.

Be that which never changes.

Find out what you are.