no matter how hard I tried I could not find it.

In fact, the harder I tried the harder I banged against the wall feeling more

Stuck.
Isolated.
Frustrated.
Mentally and physically exhausted.

When I came out of it, I realised that what allowed the end of it, was not another and better thought, triggered by the exhausted "me" (my will)

but the realization that the mind offers contents, not holy scriptures to obey to.

When you see, how futile your efforts to change "what is"

by using your will power is,

you see the whole picture.

And you're no longer stuck into wanting... you are free being the seeing.

If there is such a thing as "free will"

is that we can finally be free

from believing that the will of the mind

can actually change "what is"

into something that the same (exhausted) mind would like.

You burn out because you keep insisting on changing an experiential reality into a desired psychological outcome.

Accepting the experiencing vs desiring a different experience.

Only acceptance can go through pain and end suffering.

Am I saying to accept burnout?

No.

But unless you see your thoughts and emotions that run through you as happenings not to argue with,

but "stuff" to be aware of (acceptance)

you'll continue to fight the unfightable.

If it's time to move on, let me help you find your way through it.

I will not give you any formula, you are the formula that you are seeking

and although you may not be so convinced about it right now,

I know that you are it.


PS
I too get frustrated and triggered at times but I no longer argue with the happenings. The noise isn't disappeared (although greatly reduced) is just that its emotional grip lasts as long as a few breaths.